February 2010

This is a new year, yet nothing seems to change. Stabbing and killing still goes on in prison. Society is kept in the blind about most of what goes on in prison. January 29th, made 33 years that I’ve been locked up. Now it’s been 7 years that I’ve been off-death row. Being off is not a reason to celebrate. How can an innocent man celebrate when he is still locked up with a slower death sentence (life without parole)? You have a weaker voice now, less people listen, less people care. You are more alone than ever before. You find yourself not only fighting the system, but fighting against those who said “take care”. They want you to be silent. To be happy and make no noise at all. Yet they go home every day to family, loved ones, have children, celebrate holidays, etc.
I’m not seen as human, not supposed to have these things in my life. I should be like blacks in slavery time. Cattle that have no emotions, feelings, no means at all. I face discouragement every day from inmates whom given up on lawyers and others. But I refuse to listen to their voices. The struggle for me is not over. I’m not free at all. I’m still working on my case to get back in court. I have great issues. No lawyer is taking my case now. They don’t want to be the one to help, set a man free who deserves it. It doesn’t bother me. Jesus was left alone at his darkest moment, I guess this is mine...

I heard from a childhood friend a few months ago. It brought true joy to me she told me she believes in my innocence very much. Even while it was just a short note it meant a lot to me, to know someone out there in that cold heartless world does care.
One loses touch with emotions and feelings in prison so often. I have not and I will not. The beast if out to destroy everything a man is supposed to be. A man in Georgia prisons on visitation days are not allowed to hold a female hand. Not allowed to touch or share one quick hug or kiss. They block movie channels and magazines with females. Lock you down for talking to a female guard or staff member, but support gay homosexual activity. If you are caught, you will only end up a few days in the hole. I refuse to go down that road. A lot of guys got aids and are taking it back into the free world. I’m not against gays at all; I’m only speaking about the beast and the injustice which goes on inside it.